It’s Alive!

My blog, that is. I’ve not blogged in almost two months. To be fair we’ve been really busy, I’ve had my hands full with Leon for a while. He got super aggressive for a few months – it comes and goes in bouts (it’s slowly creeping back!) I’ve been hit, punched, slapped, head-butted, bit, kneed, kicked – you name it! So has his brother Max. It’s kind of manageable.. just now, but I’m definitely worried about him getting older, bigger and stronger. We’ve had him for an EEG and blood tests to see whatever sets him off might be epilepsy related (his dad had adulthood epilepsy.) And we’ve been referred to CAMHS (child and adult mental health service) to try and get to the bottom of it. The trouble with Autism (at least in Leon – the spectrum is huge so does not apply to every autistic person) but with Leon there’s no visible trigger. Every specialist I speak to ensures me that there must be a trigger, that we just can’t see it. I’ve seen this child everyday of his almost 9 years on this earth and he can go from smiling, and laughing (almost psychotically) to screaming and having a meltdown. Nothing will have changed. He’s been to the emergency dentist for check ups, we’ve asked about the possibility of migraines, he’s had over crowded teeth removed in case it was that. It’s a long road but we’ll see where it goes.

I also decided to return to college. A while ago, I decided against returning to college, I had felt like Leon needed me more than I needed college. I’d originally decided that I’d be best at home, looking after the kids and that the reality was I’d be unable to work full time caring for Leon so there was very little point in me going. I’d convinced myself I’d be able to learn at home. Trouble is after two years off,  I’ve gained nout but a clean, organised house, a crabbit’er child and I’ve practically lost my sanity somewhere along that road. I don’t make time for practicing art like I do when I’m in college.. I have virtually no social life because I’m an absolute hermit and it’s REALLY difficult to find places to go that Leon likes (as naturally both Max and Leon come with me 99% of the time). College is mostly when the kids are at school.. Give or take an hour or so. So I’ve decided to return to college. I’m doing what I always loved, an art course. I’ve intentions to complete my degree then get a teaching qualification and seeing where I go from there, but obviously any intentions are subject to change..(ha) But yeah, I need to get out the house and do shit that doesn’t involve damage limitations or baby wipes. So in the last two months, I’ve applied, made my portfolio, had my interview and got a place! So.. yey!


I tried the kids at after school clubs.. Finding one for them both is a pain. Just last week I had to leave one in tears as Leon was head-butting my face as he didn’t want to be there, luckily one of the other mums kept an eye on Max so he could stay, I took Leon to my mums and went back for Max. I feel like Max misses out on a lot because there’s just very little Leon will tolerate. I hate asking my parents to look after Leon as I don’t want them thinking I’m taking the I’m between a rock and a hard place there.


Also started slimming world, been on it two months, I’m the lowest I’ve been on a diet, still down just shy of 30 lbs since October, but I’ve not been following it and yoyo’d the last two months so not lost much at all. Been getting my head back in the game, as well as reorganising and juggling all the above shit.


So that kinda covers the last few months. Going forward, I’m wanting to get my head down and blog more. I want to practice art more, seeing as I’ll be back in full time college come September. And losing weight’s still top of my list so I’ll probably blog about that. All the whilst juggling one mardy bum of a child, and trying to ensure the others not ignored. So fingers crossed!



1 Comment

  1. 23rd March 2017 / 6:34 am

    I think it’s brilliant you’re going back to college. You can get some of you back. I think a lot of us must lose ourselves along the way.

    I’ve got one that randomly attacks too. Sometimes intentionally – can be sitting on your lap and then whacks you in the face. Sometimes unintentionally – head butts and kicking legs when changing nappy. And there is no pain quite like a fucking piedro boot on bare feet lol.

    Good luck with it all. You’ll smash it. X

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